Sexy Goats For Sexy Bitches

This one is called…Nutty the Madam Goat.

She suffers from an incurable disease called Stupesity.  That is to say, she is both incredibly stupid and enormously obese.  She was thrown out of her family of goats because she—well, she ate them all.  Please, she needs your help and your home.  She absolutely loves children (especially their fingers) so if your family is in need of a pet…this is the goat for you.  Lend a helping hand.

This one is called…Hector the Waving Goat.  He is an excellent example of a goat who has beaten down the bad in life and still remains friendly towards humans, despite all of the horrible things that have happened to him and his brothers and sisters.  He is also fucking awesome.

BREAKING NEWS:

Zombie Goats have started to take over the city of Los Angeles. Do not approach the goats, I repeat- DO NO APPROACH THE GOATS. They are potentially capable of spreading the zombie virus Goambie Infectiouseous which is both deadly and fatal. Authorities recommend citizens remain in their homes until further notice.

Please look at this chart so that you may better understand the wonder that is goats.

This one is called…Hans.

The man and woman standing with Hans are Bill and Betty.  They adopted Hans after his former owner sexually assaulted him with a carrot and forced him to have sex with a hedgehog.  I thought this picture needed to be shared because this is an example of two good, kind, wonderful people who care about the welfare of goats.

This one is called…Bitsy the Suicidal Goat.

This poor goat has been stricken with grief after the demise of her pet spider, Spindles (who was also her lover).  She has decided to leap to her own death so that they may once again be together.

A Wordle In Honor Of Goats

Please click on this link, and try to appreciate the beauty of goats that this Wordle represents.  Thank you for your time.